Life, death and longevity in Tonga

To be at home in Tonga you need to tear up your diary and forget your schedules. Like it or not, going with the flow is the only option. I booked just a few days in Tonga because I really had only one specific task to do. I should have known better. Just before I left Samoa I had news of the sad death of the wife of the General Secretary of the Tongan Church. As Tevita was really the person I was coming to see, that was a blow. Now that I'm here, the funeral of Sela has dominated everything. It's a privilege to be with people in this situation - you just have to trust that this is more important than your own plans. 

Faka Me

Sunday morning I was back at my old college, Sia'atoutai, where I taught in '79,80 & 81. I'm welcomed as a long-lost relative - Diane and I were married in the college chapel and made our first home on the campus. There are a couple of my old students on the staff. I was preaching (in place of Tevita ) at the annual children's service, always held on the first Sunday in May. Children are dressed in white and take most of the service, reciting the scripture readings and hymns. It's one of the big events of the year - everyone wants their children to look gorgeous. At the feast afterwards  several speeches praised the simplicity of my sermon, which made me wonder if I had been disappointingly simplistic. I'd tried to speak of the way children teach us about God. The feast, by the way, included a first taste of the freshly-harvested yams, I impressed people (I like to think) by successfully identifying them as the ufi kahokaho variety. 

 

Monday I had been due to teach at the college. However, the students had been up most of the night cooking food for the coming funeral, so were too sleepy. I had a day off, getting some writing done, having a haircut (by a young Chinese man called David) and reacquainting myself with Nuku'alofa's best coffee shop, Cafe Escape. Sai'a, who's looking after me, says he's grateful I'm showing him some of the good places to eat in town as he hasn't had chance too find them yet. In the evening I ate spaghetti con frutti di mare in Little Italy, a lovely Italian restaurant by the shore. 

Tuesday morning saw me joining the crowds at Centenary Church for the funeral. I couldn't really take photos, so I've used a picture from the web to give an impression. I'll try and paint the scene. The church (and it's a big one) is packed. Everyone is in black and wearing a ta'ovala, the woven mat that signals respect. There are special versions for funerals, including some that almost cover a person. This is for those who are tu'a to the deceased - socially inferior according to the complicated family structure. Unusually, the King, queen and princess Royal are all present. I found myself on the front row with Kini, wife of the church president. The students of Sia'atoutai were there in force (as well as General Secretary of the church Tevita is also Prncipal of the college) and so were the brass bands from various Methodist schools. Sela's body lay on a pile of tapa cloth and mats, covered in a white cloth but not in a coffin. The funeral itself was a mixture of church service and complex Tongan tradition, with every task carefully allocated to the appropriate relative. My old principal, Lopeti Taufa, still dignified at 89, offered the opening prayer. Other dignitaries led the hymns and readings. 'Ahio, the president preached for about an hour. The adopted children of Sela, both from Fiji, spoke. They only looked about 12 and were amazingly brave. From the Church the body was borne to the cemetery, accompanied by bands playing Abide with me. The grave had been built as a cement tomb and the body, wrapped in a mat, was lowered in. and covered with sand. After the prayers and the formal thanks we  were all invited to take a flower and drop it into the grave and then were given a hymn book in memory of Sela. When it was all over the mood lightened. I was approached by a group of women who had been teachers with Diane at Queen Salote College. Now they are senior ministers - Tonga being more advanced in the area of gender equality than 

Samoa. 

 

I spent the afternoon with Lopeti, simply delighted to have one more chance to meet him. His daughters were our bridesmaids and he and his late wife Mele acted like parents to us while we were at Sia'atoutai. Lopeti still does some teaching, he's part of a team working on a new translation of the Old Testament, and he's promoting a tree- planting scheme for the outer islands. Pretty good for a 89 year-old!